Why We Fight

A few days after I posted the “Bashing” video, I got this message from a girl on Facebook. I showed it to a few friends who found it inspirational and thought it deserved more attention. So here it is, with her permission.

I don’t even know if you are going to read this, but I thought it was worth a try.

I watched your video on Christians and how they use bashing and how gay people truly know what it means, and I have to say I cried. This isn’t a sob story or anything…But I go to a Christian Private School in [location removed], and if you know of that area it’s a very conservative area.

I’m 15 and I’m gay but at my school you are not allowed to be or you can be expelled because “that is not what God intended”. I accidentally came out to most of my class while we were in the midst of a heated discussion of why gay marriage was wrong, me being the only one who thought it was good. My words exactly were “Well I’m sure my girlfriend would agree with me.”

I figured that somehow my parents would find out about it so I began to talk to my mom about what she thought about being gay, and that stuff. She told me she didn’t agree with it, and if I was gay she would not come to my wedding, and she would take me to a therapist. I responded by telling her that I wouldn’t need a therapist, but did not tell her because I was honestly afraid she would hate me or something.

At school, I am constantly being called a faggot, faggot lover, etc, and at first i just ignored it because I thought of it as stupid immature highschool talk and I still had a few good friends who stuck around. I guess I found out who my real friends were. I have also received detentions for calling a guy who was calling me a faggot…during class…an asshole. When having conversations with teachers they tell me how homosexuality is something I may be suffering from or choosing, but I need help, and I need to ask for forgiveness or else I won’t be able to achieve heaven. I don’t understand how a Christian, who says that you should love everybody and care for them, is honestly going to decide who gets to go to heaven. Unless any of them talk to god on a regular basis I don’t think they can tell me that.

Also, since when are they legally allowed to kick someone out of school based on their sexual orientation?

I am just so sick of people’s ignorance and unwillingness to open their eyes and see that people have feelings and something like the gender somebody likes has nothing to do with who they are. We are all people, we all have feelings, and we all love.

It’s rediculous how stupid it’s all becoming. I’m sorry for this long message, but it felt good to type out. I really want to start advocating gay rights, and talk to people who go through what I am now, the parents that don’t understand, losing a lot of friends because of it…but in the end I feel happier, because I’m not hiding myself anymore.

Okay, I’m done…I swear.

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8 comments to Why We Fight

  • 1

    The girl is a warrior. Onward (non,ex)Christian soldier!

  • 2
  • 3

    i truely feel for this girl,
    to come out during her class like that?
    i wld b terrified to do anything like that.
    props to her and what she’s doing!
    honestly i’m wanting to help with advocating gay rights also.
    recently, i tried educating my home school group on aids and hwo it is not
    “a punichment for gays” as one of them said.
    i haven’t watched ur video yet, but i know i will go see it now :)

  • 4
    D. Charles P says:

    Your very brave for comming out of the closet when you did. High school is probablly the toughest place to do it. I really admire you for it.

    I went to a Catholic School, and yes they can discriminate, because they are privately funded. It’s sad that bigotry is still alive and well in this Country, and it’s really sad that no one stops to think, that we are all different, and that someday, other groups of people will be hated, tormented, and discriminated against. It’s been going on since the beginning of mankind, and will probablly continue for as long as man exsists. It has happened because of Race, Sex, Religious Beleifs, and now Sexual Orientation, and I’m sure there are other forms of bigotry I didn’t mention.

    Whatever you do, don’t give up. I was afraid to come out until I was 40. I lived most of my life alone, sometimes depressed, sometimes suicidal, and always sad. I was afraid to come out, and afraid to die alone. Things didn’t go well for me, when I first came out. I lost all my freinds, my parents dis-owned me. BUT, I felt like a major load had been lifted from my shoulders. For the first time in my life I felt like i had a chance for true happines, and then it happened…. I met THEE guy, my numero uno.

    We live in Iowa, and it is NOW legal for us to get married, which we plan to do in October.

    Just remember one thing… NEVER GIVE UP ON LOVE, it is out there, and life is so much easier to deal with when you have that special someone at your side..

    Take Care.

  • 5
    Liz Ditz says:

    I came by your blog from this post from Ed Brayton at Dispatches from the Culture Wars:


    I really feel for the young woman in your post.

    I blog about (among other things) private or independent schools, including Christian schools. There have been several cases of students being expelled for homosexual behavior.

    Sometimes the parents or the student litigate


    I wish the young woman the best.

  • 6
    Chris says:

    To the girl who wrote the letter:

    I have no way to contact you, but I hope that you will come back to this website and read the comments, because I am SO proud of you for standing up for yourself!

    The process of ‘coming out’ is THE great ‘litmus test’ Gays & Lesbians have to guide them during this difficult and confusing process.

    What I mean by that, is that you will see other people’s TRUE colors during this process (and throughout your life.) Those that TRULY love you will still love you. And those who do not, or who were not TRUE friends will fall by the wayside.

    And you will be a better person and have a far happier life WITHOUT those people. I promise you that.

    I admire your courage, young lady! Be strong, be brave, and also, be SAFE. I don’t want to scare you, but you will surely encounter Heterosexuals along your path (and at 15, you probably already have)that wish you actual physical harm. Most will not act on that impulse, but MANY will. You must always be aware of your surroundings and of WHO is around you. (Jeez, can you believe I am actually talking about AMERICA, here???)

    Heterosexuals, as I am sure you are learning, are not the kindest or most God-like people toward the very Gay & Lesbian children that THEY themselves created. I am not sure why, as I could never imagine having a child, then raising that child. And then spending the rest of my life making sure that the World degraded and abused my child because he or she turned out to be Gay or Lesbian. I will NEVER understand that. Nor do I wish to. I would never want to know what it feels like to have a heart capable of such evil. I only know that after 40 years of life, I have come to understand that being Gay or Lesbian is nothing less than a gift from God. I believe that Gays & Lesbians are chosen by HIM for this difficult life becasue HE knows that WE are the STRONGEST people on the Planet. I believe we are sent here by God to help teach people how to love one another. Right now, Heterosexuals are really failing on that count.

    But with teens like you coming out at younger and younger ages, YOU, dear girl, are teaching people how to better themselves by dealing with a predjudice that God himself would NEVER approve of.

    I wish you MUCH happiness and SUCCESS in your life. Your early self-acceptence regarding your sexuality will be one of many steps you will take in you life toward learning what EVERY human being was sent here to learn. And that is to love ourselves and each other.

    Something tells me you just might get there!!!!

    God Bless, and YOU GO GIRL!!!

  • 7
    David Lev says:

    I just want to give that girl a hug

    –a heterosexual who’s not homophobic

  • 8

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