I found some more unintended hilarity. JoeMyGod points us to a new Christian political party:
As the Party of No Compromise, the New Independent Christian Party intends to influence the outcome of American elections and uphold the Godly principles by which America was built and by which Christians believe, live and exist.
I took a moment to look into the party founders and discovered this, written by Bishop Janice Fountaine:
The practice of homosexuality and self-pleasure, are age old systems, being recharged and reorganized for end-time warfare. It is being orchestrated from the diabolical realms of the supernatural and manifested on earth, with the overall intention, to silence the church forever. These actions, by satan, is an all out declaration of victory, as the church finds itself caught off guard and intertwined in his evil end-time warafre, strategies and systems.
I imagine the enemy’s plan looks something like this:
Step 1: Masturbate.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Satan!
Just remember that when your thoughts stray down Gyllenhaal lane.
Where I grew up (UK), while they were just as deluded, at least the bishops were literate.
I’d much rather have my TONGUE wander down Gyllenhaal’s treasure trail!
I suspect that God is the one who wants to silence the Church. Why would Satan want to when they’re doing his work for him, and doing it so well?
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
“Masturbation is Satan’s plot to silence the church for ever”?
Well, okay! If that will work, I’m in! Who’s with me?
I’ve never thought of masturbation as a “system” before…
BWAHAHAHAAAA!!!! Masturbation=BAD! Mental dellusions= GOOD!
Who ARE these wingnut idiots?
Here’s the interesting thing: men who masturbate have a much lower rate of prostate cancer. Satan likes masturbation. Satan = negative. Masturbation = negative. Satan + masturbation = no prostate cancer. Two negatives = a positive. It’s basic math.
In honor of silienching the Church forever, I’m gonna rub one out before work.
Religion – the Poison of Mankind, and the Killer of the Human Imagination
You actually wrote:
“I imagine the enemy’s plan looks something like this:
Step 1: Masturbate.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Satan!”
http://youtu.be/tO5sxLapAts
[Thanks Becca! I can never find that clip when I need it. -- Rob]
Where did you actually find that quote? It’s bouncing around but I can’t find the original source for it, and I wanted to double-check.