I’m having a hard time throwing myself back in to the work of this blog. I look at the outrageous things that anti-gays say, and all I can think is,
Who are they talking about?
I blame the AIDS LifeCycle. For a week I got to be part of a half-gay, half-straight group of folk, in a moving city dominated by a gay sensibility. I’ve had gay vacations before, but this isn’t like a vacation. It’s over 2000 people working their asses off (the volunteer crew and roadies even more than the riders). It’s a functioning city, unlike any I’ve seen elsewhere. And it’s fabulous.
Right when you think you can’t make it to the top of a hill, there’s a drag queen cheering you on. Or a girl with a boombox, dressed up in 49ers football gear, dancing to “Single Ladies.” Or a man dressed up as 7-foot tall condom urging you to ride safe. And the themes! Rest stop crews dressed up as white trash, or construction workers, or The Price is Right spokesmodels, or bees. Singing, dancing, improvised theater. Coming into camp and having a stranger help you set up your tent. Pulling over to help someone you’ve never met change a flat tire. Giving away a spare inner tube for free, knowing you can count on someone to do the same for you.
Our opponents like to condemn us as silly, frivolous, party people. Their only mistake is the condemnation. The LifeCycle is a community — a community – of people doing silly, frivolous things while accomplishing a deadly serious mission, while riding 80 miles a day, while dismantling, moving, and re-erecting a 2000 person city every 24 hours, and while raising $10 million for AIDS treatment, prevention, and awareness. I love that gay mindset. I don’t want us to be just like straight people. And I sure as hell don’t want us to be like the grim, joyless leaders of our opposition.
Coming back to bigger world and seeing those sad, dishonest, vicious people — it’s like stepping from a clear mountain stream into a sewer. So, no, I’m not eager, and yeah, it’s hard to get back into it. The thing is, we have to do it because these people are trying to strip us of our rights. Actually, no, not just strip of us of our rights — they want to destroy the whole joyous, silly, frivolous, hard-working, inspiring culture. We engage them, we step into that sewer, and we do it to protect ourselves. By why are they so eager to go there? Why are they so eager, when it means closing their eyes to the truth and maintaining a stubborn, willful ignorance? All I can figure is that they don’t know anything else. Our opposition (our most vocal opposition, at least) can’t find that clear, mountain stream. All they have is the sewer, so spending their days trying to smear us with crap strikes them as simple, obvious, and routine. They don’t know anything different. I’m glad we’re not them.
To end this on a happy note, here’s a video some people put together showing the joy and hard work of the week.
I remember desperately trying to hold onto the feeling that permeated me after AIDSRide/LifeCycle. You can’t. All you can do is feel it slowly slip away as we return to the “real” world. What glorious weeks they were…
That being said, it’s important for people to remember that anything is possible – that it’s up to each and every one of us to make the world as we want it. Our cruel, ignorant and vicious opponents are spending all of their time and energy to create a world filled with division, fear, intolerance and hatred. Think about it – as a general rule, I have always believed that we get in return what we put out.
Love always triumphs over hatred…. not right away of course, but eventually, what these people put out will return to them – ten fold.
God have mercy on their souls.
There’s probably no point in getting INTO the sewer. You certainly want to keep an eye on it, know where it is and avoid it. There isn’t much to be gained (if anything) by getting into it. There is a lot to be gained, I’d say, by expanding the reach of the clear mountain stream.
In less metaphorical terms, as I see it, the folks who maintain/expand the sewer have built their lives, livelihoods and identities around opposition to the equality and full citizenship of gay and lesbian people. They are so committed to their cause that they will do anything and say anything–truth be damned–to make their case. And, to be frank, they are pretty good at it. They know how to push buttons, and their side (broadly defined) has spent decades doing the door-to-door, precinct-to-precinct, church-to-church organizing it takes to build a movement. It makes for a pretty big sewer.
I don’t think there is a progressive cause (since the Civil Rights era, anyway) or organization that has done the work to build that kind of movement, which is a huge shame, and a serious disadvantage. I also have no idea why there is no credible counterpoint (especially from the Christian moderates/left) to the TFC, FVC, etc. Sigh…
That said, advocates of gay and lesbian equality have one huge advantage: the truth. It’s easy to make rational arguments for equality (which, to persuade some people, will be essential) and it’s also easy to tell stories that show why this matters (which is essential, of course, to persuading other people). This is why straight people who know gay people are so much more likely to be in favor of equality.
You will never convince the professional haters, nor their most ardent followers, of the righteousness of equality. Better to target the vast majority of people who don’t care much about these issues, some of whom may have some knee-jerk hostility, but who are persuadable. These people can be directed/guided away from the sewer toward the clear stream. It seems to me that that’s what your best work is aimed at doing–and thanks for it. To me, the key question is how to build all the little efforts to expand the mountain stream into a more cohesive, effective effort–one that can truly counter the sewer.
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It’s the little moments that keep you going. Today (Father’s Day), my partner and I took our three year old twins for a family portrait. As we were finishing, the photographer asked us, “Are you done after this?” Since it was 1:00 in the afternoon and it was clear my kids were ready for a nap, I thought she was asking if we had any other events planned for the day or were we headed home for nap time. So, I told her we’d been doing things all morning for Father’s Day and were finally headed home. Without batting an eyelash, she said, “Oh, no. I mean are you two planning to have any more kids?” I nearly fainted. I’m used to be asked all sorts of very personal questions by total strangers: Who’s the real dad? How much did you pay for them? Where did you find them? Etc. But, never before had I encountered someone who was so non-phased by a two-dad family that she assumed we might want to have more kids, just like any other “traditional” couple. Without even knowing it, that young lady absolutely made my day.
[...] Movable Community Posted on June 21, 2010 by Jason Kuznicki Rob Tisinai writes about that silly, frivolous gay community, raising money to fight HIV/AIDS — by biking 600 miles in 7 days: Right when you think you [...]
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels the post AIDS LifeCycle letdown. It is always the best week of my year. My visit to the “sewer” was complete while viewing “8: The Mormon Proposition” yesterday. Seeing Mormon leaders hellbent (and I use that word intentionally) on doing all they could to take away same-sex marriage rights even when it meant lying or covering up their tracks through deceit made me feel like I was watching the worst type of human behavior possible. I’ll take the caring, smiling faces of the AIDS LifeCycle community and the commitment of its 2,500 strong people over the Mormon cesspool anyday.
That video is so sweet! It makes me wish I was on the West Coast so I could participate.
And I’m sorry that it is hard on you to come back from it.
I hope you don’t feel down for too long!