I volunteered to lead a protest.
Yeah, it’s about gay marriage. The Prop 8 vote woke me up.
Go back to when I was a kid: I was a great student and lousy at sports. That double-whammy will get you picked on even by the kids who get picked on. I was tall and scrawny with a great big head, a mouthful of braces, orthopedic shoes (pigeon-toed flat feet), a stutter, and hard contact lenses that constantly slipped out of place. But I got older, the stutter faded, and I stopped looking so much like a greasy lollipop on a stick. Plus, I reached an age where people saw smarts as maybe a good thing. Now suddenly folks were nice to me right off the bat. Instead of mocking everything I said, no matter how smart, they nodded and smiled, no matter how awkward or odd.
That was…good? I would figure out what people wanted me to be, be that thing, and they’d like me. I’d already done it to manage my parents (they were conservative Catholics born in 1919 and 1920; I was a closeted gay teen), so why not try it with my peer group? No one got to know me, really, but it was better than being picked on, right?
It worked on the job, too. Be the go-to guy everyone enjoys working with. Be nice to everyone and everyone will be nice to you. You smother a lot of yourself in the process, but it’s safer, isn’t it?
Eventually I began to see safety-plus-misery as a dead end. Fast forward through lots of therapy and I’m making slow but steady progress. Slow. But steady.
On November 4, 2008, though, something broke. I was nice, but the voters weren’t. I didn’t make trouble, but they kicked my ass. And why? Because they were terrified their kids would learn about gays in school. Forget about whether Prop 8 actually mandated that – they believed it, and the idea that their kids would learn about people like me was so awful they stripped away my rights to keep it from happening.
So screw that. Screw being nice, being what they want, denying myself – it doesn’t work. You can’t get the life you want by giving yourself up.
So I volunteered to lead a protest. I’ll chronicle that here.
Of course, if you meet me, I’ll be nice, I’ll try to figure out who you want me to be, and I’ll struggle with an urge to shut myself off and be what you want. Some lessons you need to learn more than once. But in the weeks to come I may be learning it over and over.
Thank you. You say all the things I think but can not seem to put into words. I will use your speaking points as best I can.
Very truly,
Brent Hopkins
#1 Coffee Pot Ln.
Little Rock, AR 72202
Keep up the good work!
Just found your blog. You’re Fabulous. I’m going to post your vids to my page. THANK YOU for your service.
Ron Parisi
hey Ron… awesome video on you tube… not sure how I found it… but posted links to it on the NOM site… see if they delete it…
anyway.. how much did you raise for the ALC?? see you are doing it.. I was going to, again.. but dropped out for personal reason… my roadie no. is 8613.. moto safety.. this would have been my 3rd yr doing it…
ok.. ride safe, best wishes to ya… wish i were there for you riders..
take care, Mike Sanguinetti
Hey,
I like your blog. I’m a french journalist and i live in Boston for about a month now. I have my blog too (which is in french and is about what i can find funny and strange in the US as a foreigner) but i just wanted to tell you that i’m doing a post about your Apple/GOP ad. I’m gonna put a link to your blog. But keep on like this, it’s great.
American Rigolo
http://americanrigolo.wordpress.com/
[...] web site. I click there "about" option which sends you to this "first post": How to begin? No comment from me is [...]
Wow! What you are doing is great! Keep up your work and keep fighting for what is right!
I found you via your “There’s a Rep for That.” I’m hooked.
I’m an active ally and teacher in New England. I’ll be back here often, I think…
What Mrs. Chili said.
Except I’m near Portland, OR. So you have admirers coast to coast!
Found your blog via a mutual Facebook friend. Your videos are very articulate and well presented, and your passion and intellect come through very well in your writing.
So, here is what I would like you to be: yourself.
I look forward to reading more.
Fantastic blog. I came by via the Prop 8 Trial Tracker and your Youtube post.
Thanks for your clarity and eloquence.
Be, simply, beautifully you.
Mr. Rob, thank you thank you so much for making these videos, for your articulateness and concise presentation of the facts, and for your cool demeanor.
The best tool we have is to keep exposing their lies to everyone to see.
I’m subscribed to your YouTube, and I added you to my blogroll.
Peace,
Tom
Wow! What a wonderfully rejuvenating breath of fresh air.
Succinct. Thought-provoking. Inspirational.
A mere “thank you” is unjust.
I love your videos and your blog posts. Never forget that you do have allies and we appreciate all the work you’re doing.
Rob, thank you for your clear, consise, and well organized thoughts. You have an eloquence that I’ve lacked my entire life, so when you post your videos I get so excited that you’re saying all the things I want to, but just can spit out. LOL. I’ve been a fan of yours for about 3-4 months, but I’m learning how to be an effective informant via Facebook. I post what I can to bring awareness of LGBT issues to my friends and family, and hopefully their friends as well.
Best wishes, keep up the amazing work!
~Billy
This is so poignant, Rob. Good for you. xo
[...] Rob Tish just about nailed it, didn’t he? [...]
I would say that you are just AWESOME! Love your articles and videos. Keep up the great work! It’s great to have someone who can speak the truth briefly and bravely. =]
thank you so much for being a voice of normal, calm reason in all the drama that
surrounds little more than basic human rights. im of the “straights” refusing
to marry until ‘EVERYONE CAN’ (much to mothers dismay). It’s a fight worth fighting.
I’ve been telling people for years to keep their “imaginary friends & their opinions”
at home (ie jesus, mohammed, whoever) to many a shocked and startled face in NYC…..
Apparently agnostics were supposed to smooth their views over as well. No more.
Thank you for the courage. Freedom is for everyone in my America.
Jaye in NYC
Love your site, your vid’s and honest writing. Thanks! You have fans everywhere!!!!
Fantastic blog! I just discovered you and think you are doing a spectacular job. Keep up the good fight for all of us.
You inadvertently defended me over at Gay Patriot when I really didn’t deserve it. I checked your blog out. This is great!
Just found the blog. Absolutely love it! Thank you for your well thought out, factual repsonses to these various issues. Please keep your voice out there, this country can use it
This is not about money .debt or anything else this is about a small group of people that just can’t accept a African american President the Tea party was formed under the bush tax cut so it wasn’t about tax look at the republican press confrences look at fox programs you don’t see any african americans or hispanics just white people,i know race will not be brought up on any programs first african american president first time goverment unable to function coincidence i don’t think so!
[...] cogent analyses online in the wake of Prop 8 (he describes that vote as having sparked an “awakening” in him). And I–alongside many others–have found that he has provided reasoned, [...]